And then nothingness
by Charming-Storm
Summary: Catherine receives shocking news from Grissom. (C/G ) - - third and last chapter is up !! :D
1. And then.....nothingness

Disclaimer : This fanfic is based on chars from CSI, which is owned by CBS, A. Zuiker, and Atlantic/Alliance, et al.  I don't make any profit or make any money from this.  No infringement is intended.  This is just for fun.  
  
  
  
  
  
" Yo, Griss, why did you want to see me ? " Catherine was leaning against the doorframe to Gil's office, an amused but curious look on her face. She had been working on a case with Nick earlier today and when Gil had paged, was just finishing up some of the paperwork.  
  
" Yo ? " the man in front of her repeated. He threw her a strange look and something that appeared to be a smile, before motioning for her to sit down.  
  
Shaking her head and smiling in return, Catherine obeyed.  
  
" So, what do we have ? "  
  
Grissom didn't reply. He just stared at the files in front of him, frowning a little.  
  
She raised an eyebrow at his silence. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence at all though.  
  
She knew he just needed to handle a few things before he was ' ready' to talk to her.  
  
Also gave her the opportunity to study his office for the thousandth time. The bugs and snakes in jars, spiders in little cases, they used to give her a creepy or weird feeling. Now they were just….familiar.  
  
" Cath ? "  
  
Snapping back to reality, Catherine now tried to focus all of her attention on Gil, who was staring at her intensely. " This isn't about a case. This is….about you "  
  
Now it was Catherine's turn to frown. " Should I be scared ? "  
  
Grissom shook his head at the blonde's humor. He had learned to appreciate her smart and witty comments over the years. They had actually made him smile on some occasions.  
  
" No" he answered plainly. " I wanted to know how you were doing…seriously "  
  
" Ow " Catherine's reply sounded between disappointed and relieved. " I'm doing ok..and um….not that I don't appreciate it, but, why do you ask ? "  
  
Ignoring her question, Gil then asked " And how's Lindsey doing ? "  
  
Confused at his avoiding her question, Catherine answered " Fine. She's doing fine. What is this about ? "  
  
Letting out a sigh of annoyance or maybe even defeat, Grissom knew it was time to tell her. " The case I sent Warrick and Sarah to. The white male. Found dead in one of the dressing rooms of the Casino…. ? " He waited for her to respond.  
  
" Yes, I know. Shot twice. One in the head, one in the chest. What about it ? "  
  
Feeling very uncomfortable, but still wanting to tell the news with some tact, Gil said in a low voice " Cath, …..It's Eddie "  
  
He wasn't sure how he'd expected her to react. He had to admit he had been scared of her reaction. But now, Gil wasn't even sure what he saw in her eyes when he told her the news. Terror ? Shock ? Pain ?  
  
No.  
  
Nothing.  
  
It scared him even more. 


	2. Gotta Break the Silence

Catherine swallowed but remained silent. She just stared at the jars on the shelves in Grissom's office, ignoring everything else around her.  
  
Grissom rushed back into the office holding a glass of water. " Here " he handed her the glass, then took place behind his desk, watching intently. Awaiting her next move.  
  
She nodded and Gil noticed a faint smile on her pale face. Staring at the glass in her hand, she mumbled " You don't have anything stronger, huh ? "  
  
" No. Sorry " He replied, smiling. Just so typical. In a good way.  
  
An akward silence followed.  
  
Grissom leaned over his desk, wanting to say something but at a loss for words. Normally he loved the silence. He cherished the quiet times he had spend in his office, just thinking. About cases or his crew. Or a crossword puzzle. The combination of Catherine, his office and some ' peace and quiet ' had never went well together. In fact, until this day, it had never occured before.  
  
"Cath. I'm going down there, see how Nick & Sara are doing. But if you need me here.....if you need anything......besides alcohol... ? "  
  
The blonde shook her head and suddenly got up from her seat, turning her back to him. " No, Gil, I NEED to know what to feel.. You...don't. I don't KNOW what to feel. The love I was once felt for him, was beaten out of me by him ! Every single night he came home drunk, I feared for MY LIFE, Gil. And that of my little girl. Because if I didn't give in................."  
  
She drew in a heavy breath, her face flushed with anger and pain. Although Grissom had known about Eddie's abuse, she had never actually told him in so many words. Running a hand through her hair, Catherine continued " I don't know what else to say.., Gil......Just find who did this. I..I need to go tell Lindsey before she sees it on the news or finds out another way "  
  
Grissom nodded, rose to his feet and put his hand on her shoulder trying to calm her down, although he wasn't surprised by her outburst. It was good. It was Catherine. She needed to vent. He also understood where she was coming from. Eddie may have been a lousy husband, but he was Lindsey's father. Poor kid. She didn't know any better.  
  
" I'm going to get whoever did this. I promise "  
  
Catherine blinked a couple of times, her bright blue eyes reflecting the confusion she was feeling ever since she heard about Eddie's murder. " I know "  
  
He put his arms around her, holding her for only a couple of seconds. She wasn't falling apart, she wasn't crying or trembling.She was so strong. He, Grissom, just felt like holding her before he left to go the crime scene. He needed her to know he was there for her. He had been there when Eddie was alive and hurting her.......he'd be there after Eddie's death too.  
  
She sighed, letting go. " I'm gonna...go now, I need to see my little girl " " Give her my love " Grissom replied with a faint smile. Catherine started to turn around and walk away when he called after her.  
  
" Cath.I'll keep you posted......And if..."  
  
Catherine cutt him off. " I know, if there's anything I need.......... "  
  
He nodded and watched her go. 


	3. Overwhelmed

" Nick. Sara " Grissom was taking quick but firms steps, approaching his two colleagues as one was hovering over Eddie's dead body, and the other talking to a security guy.  
  
" Grissom " Sara looked up at him, smiled faintly in recognition but when she remembered the reason of Grissom's hold up at the crimelab, the brunette frowned. " How is she ? "  
  
Grissom shook his head an shrugged. " I really couldn't tell you, Sara. I..don't know "  
  
Nick now looked up from the DB, staring at Sara and Grissom, deep in thought. Grissom noticed this and crouched down beside him. " So, what do we have ? "  
  
" Well " Nick began. " Seems to be a clear case. Eddie and... Danny Waters got into a fight over some cash. Casino personnel asked them to quiet it down a little, they went into one of the dressingrooms to discuss the money problems and *bang*, the guy shoots him. " Grissom rose an eyebrow at Nick's story and glanced from the corpse to Sara, who replied : " There's a camera over there in the right corner, they installed it three months ago for safety reasons. The tape's already on his way to the lab. Mr Waters, our suspect, was caught redhanded with the gun, trying to make his way out of the dressingroom through the window."  
  
She too crouched down beside Nick and stared at Eddie. " Not a difficult case, Gris. No hidden motives. Witnesses enough. "  
  
Grissom sighed and nodded. " So, a fatal fight over some money ? " he shook his head, a pained expression on his face as he stared at Eddie's. * Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once.  
  
Of all the wonders that I yet have heard, it seems to me most strange that men should fear;  
  
Seeing that death, a necessary end, will come when it will come". *  
  
" Get me that Danny Waters......now "  
  
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A soft knock on the door. " Who is it ? "  
  
" It's me. I called, but you weren't answering....I thought... "  
  
Before Grissom could finish his sentence, Catherine had already opened the door. She looked alright, considering...everything.  
  
" It's okay " Her voice was soft and weak but she didn't give him the time to study her face as she quickly turned around and motioned for him to come in.  
  
Grissom felt sorry for her. He felt so incredibly sorry for her. " I " he began as he entered the small but comfortable appartment. What could he say ? He wasn't a people-person. What do you say to a woman who has just lost her ex-husband, someone she used to call her ' bastard' ex-husband but also someone she used to....'love'.  
  
But this was Catherine. She had been his closest friend for ten years now. He knew her. At least, he thought he knew her. He knew her smile, one of the brightest he had ever seen. He knew when she was teasing or being sarcastic. He knew the effect she had on people and admired her for it. He knew when she was having a bad day or needed to be left alone. But right now, Grissom wasn't so sure. Catherine looked alright, but maybe she needed him ? Maybe she needed him to say something. Something......comforting.  
  
" I..We got the guy " He just stood there in the middle of the room, hands in his pockets and a defeated look on his face because he couldn't think of anything better to say.  
  
" I know " She sat down on the couch, forcing a smile on her face. " Warrick called me an hour ago to see how I was and he told me.... " She glanced around nervously, avoiding his gaze.  
  
" How are you doing, Catherine ? "  
  
She blinked in surprise at his directness and shifted uncomfortably. " I'm.. handling it, Gil. It's just......It's my little girl that I'm worried about "  
  
He nodded sadly. Lindsey, an innocent little girl, would have to grow up without a father. A father she had adored.  
  
" She's asleep right now. I had a hard time getting her into bed. At first she didn't understand..." Catherine drew in a deep breath and Grissom knew she was fighting back the tears she should have let out a long time ago. But she had wanted to be strong for Lindsey's sake " She didn't understand why she could never see her daddy again. She thought we had gotten into another fight " Catherine laughed darkly, but the laugh only lasted mere seconds. " Then I explained to her it's just like what happened to grandpa.....and she.......she.."  
  
Catherine suddenly dropped her head in her hands. Grissom quickly walked over to her, sat down next to her, putting a comforting arm around her petite form. When she looked up again, tears were rolling down her cheecks and her watery blue eyes looked at him in dispair.  
  
Grissom felt overwhelmed. Feelings of pain, sadness and anger just' overwhelmed' him as he saw this strong woman, the strongest woman he had ever known, cry. Crying because her child was hurting. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him. " It's ok Cath, we'll work something out. ........it's going to be ok " He never wanted to see her cry again. Ever. It was both terrifying and heartbreaking.  
  
  
  
- - - Doubt that the sun doth move, doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love" - Hamlet  
  
  
  
* * * From the Author : So, last chapter.......what do ya think ? Lemme know by reviewing ! And, thanks to all the others who have reviewed the first two chapters, you really helped me out alot and I really appreciated your kind feedback ! * * * * 


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